Re: No Kings – Titan Tea Party
I can’t participate in physical protests (too broken), but it occurred to me that I could post a short story I wrote, that is tangentially related.
Titan Tea Party was originally published in The Protest Diaries by B Cubed Press
TITAN TEA PARTY
Esme double- and triple-checked everyone’s thermal body suit, breathing tank, and wings before opening the hatch. Tourism was Titan’s primary source of income. If a tourist got injured or killed on a flying excursion, the decline in revenue would jeopardize the entire colony.
The tourists whooped and cheered as they jumped into the frigid air. Their large wings kept them aloft with little effort in the low-gravity atmosphere, while their body suits protected them from the deadly chill.
Lots of people dreamed of self-powered flying, but only on Titan could their dreams become reality. And with so much of the planet’s infrastructure damaged by Hurricane Iapetus last year, the colonists needed every dollar they could get.
Esme monitored her group closely and made sure no one flew outside of the boundary buoys, or experienced other problems. The tourists didn’t notice the demolished buildings outside of the buoys’ range. Didn’t realize that every signal pole used to contain a landing pad.
In the past, she would have corralled them towards the nearest pad, and then picked them all up at once. Now, she had to pedal her transport flier next to each tourist and pull them back onto the ship with a guiding rope. She retrieved the ones who signaled they were ready first, but there were often grumbles about how some tourists got to fly longer than others.
Esme hurried to their hotel, grateful that no one had protested today. She didn’t want to be late to the town hall meeting. According to rumors, Earth planned to enact additional taxes and regulations. As financially strapped as the colony already was, the additional costs were an unreasonable burden, but what could they do about it? After dropping off her guests, Esme pedaled faster than normal as she flew to the civic center.
Neighbors and friends nodded to her as she landed and secured her large flier to one of the few platforms still standing. She floated down to the hatch, then descended, as she acclimated to the less buoyant environment. The artificial gravity increased the farther down she traveled. Once she reached the bottom floor, she turned off her suit–no need to wear the battery down–and removed her mask, tank, and gloves. Finger-combing her short hair, she glanced in the small mirror placed by the row of cubbyholes. She looked no worse than anyone who’d spent all day suited up, which most people had.
The tension in the meeting room felt like a tangible force as she entered. Tempers were already high.
“How can they do this to us, when we’re still recovering from Iapetus?” someone muttered behind her.
“Not like they were much help with that either,” their companion answered. “What are all these taxes paying for, if they won’t help us when we need it?”
Governor Ricky, Earth’s self-appointed toady, seemed oblivious to the crowd’s mood as he strode across the stage and walked to the microphone. In a monotonous tone, he read the latest proclamations off a tablet.
More taxes and regulations on imports from other colonies. A wave of mutters and grumbles flowed around the room.
Governor Ricky ignored the noise. Like so many times before, he ended the meeting without offering to answer questions. He simply walked off the stage and through a back door as if he had better things to do with his time.
The colonists stood, but didn’t leave. Their voices grew louder as anger fed upon anger.
“They want to force us to depend on Earth,” someone shouted.
Esme agreed. The new taxes seemed designed to punish them for accepting any imports from other space colonies. Even though the other colonies were closer and easier to ship from, the taxes would raise the prices so high that goods from Earth would appear cheaper in comparison.
Frustration boiled inside Esme. What could they possibly do? They had no recourse with which to argue or negotiate with Earth. Governor Ricky, their only voice into Earth’s government, was nothing but a puppet. He’d praised Earth for helping after Iapetus, even though the mother planet had done almost nothing to help Titan recover. And the ‘help’ Earth provided, they’d charged extra for.
“What can we do?” someone wailed.
“We can’t survive without their imports.” A different voice agreed.
Esme, like most of the settlers, kept track of all incoming shipments, and what was on each one. It was always good to know when particular items might be in stock again. She reviewed the list of imports in her head. Was any of what they received from Earth truly necessary? They grew their own food now, and Titan provided plenty of water and fuel. The goods from Earth were certainly nice to have, and they made life easier and more pleasant, but were they necessary? Clothes that were impractical in Titan’s outside environment. The latest electronic gadgets. Toys. Exotic foods like chocolate and tea.
“There’s a shipment arriving from Earth early next week,” she said.
“So?” The wailer asked, in a petulant tone.
She cleared her throat, then spoke in a louder voice. “I have an idea.”
*****
A week later, after Esme finished her tourist run of the day, she flew to the spaceport, planning to go first, followed by several others who owned fliers with large amounts of cargo space.
The goods from Earth waited on the platform, each container wrapped in a thermal blanket to prevent damage. Not that it would be enough to protect them from what she intended.
She filled her flier, then glided north, over Lake Oceanus. One by one, she pushed each package into the liquid methane below.
From now on, the colony would buy what they needed from elsewhere, and Earth would receive zero taxes from those purchases.
In fact, Earth would never receive taxes of any kind from them again.
The populace of Titan had declared their independence.
END
I wrote this story after Hurricane Maria devastated Puerto Rico, due to my dismay at the lack of assistance they received from our government. Seven years later, they are still struggling, and still waiting for much of the promised assistance (a lot of money eventually earmarked for them actually went to the cronies of a certain person (who likes to throw paper towels) instead).

Written
on August 20, 2021